| sometimes you hear something that is just plain refreshing. tonight was that night... my girlfriend told me something, it wasnt what i wanted to hear but it was refreshing and i made me think. it also inspired me. it inspired me to make some changes and be a better person because of it. so thanks caroline |
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| Growing up i have always stated that i didnt want to have any children. I always said that i didnt like children. now that im reaching the age where i am no longer a child i find myself with the desire to keep myself invloved in the youth groups that i have grown up in. Im staying a part of them in a leadership role. there is the pathfinder group. i am staff for this group. and im one of the youngest staff members in the group. Im also trying to become one of the youth leaders in our serendipity group. Kevin has been doing it for years and recently arjean and i have stepped up and are taking some of the responsibilty from him. over the past year or so i have started to see myself getting more and more invloved with these kids and really enjoying myself for the most part. this weekend has been a little rough tho. we hosted a youth rally at the church and we had over 200 people attending. i was fairly invloved in some of the youth rally. one of my biggest jobs was running a wireless network down to the gym so that the leaders and those that were putting on the event could have wifi if it were needed. i was instructed to protect the connection so that not just anyone could get online. i protected one router but not another. we didnt want kids surfing the net during this event. well i heard some of them talking about being able to connect so i got onto the router and put a password on it. this girl promptly cursed me out. i couldnt believe that i was getting cussed at by a 13 yr old girl at a youth rally. this was the second time in two days by the same girl. i have a difficult time sometimes with the kids giving me respect. i understand that im not alot older than they are but i wish that they could understand that im there for them. im not invloved with this for any other reason than the desire to help these kids. i dont ask for them to like me or agree with everything that i say i only ask for respect.
i just finished talking to a friend of the girl that cussed at me. i think i did a pretty good job of explaining myself and i also got some tips on becoming a better youth leader. the conversation went from her calling me an asshole because of what went down tonight to her telling me that she respects what im trying to become and why im invovled with the youth group. im counting that as a win but i just wish that the rest of the youth would listen to me like she did.
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| Some times i think that maybe i should pursue a career in digging ditches. it seems that iv become a professional at digging myself into a hole. so i might as well make some money off of it. if only i could get out of the hole ive dug myself into. |
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| Im having a really rough week. earlier this week one of my best friends and the girl that i love told me that she was thinking about dating an ex boyfriend. i flipped out really bad and was really mean to her. i was really upset and i dont know if i should have been or not. i was upset for a few reasons, one because as one of her best friends i dont get to spend much time with her because of something else horrible that i did. so we dont get to hang out much. i remember when she started dating this guy before that it seemed as if we grew apart some. im afraid that this will happen again. she doesnt seem to remember this the same way i do. Im also upset because as pathetic as it may be i still love this girl very much. iv always treated her the very best that i could and she knows that there is nothing that i wouldnt do for her. She will be dating this guy for the second time. the first time didnt go so well and he seemed to be to me and many others pretty much a jerk. now she is thinking about dating him again. so you can understand why im a little upset about trying so hard for all these years and yet someone that didnt treat her all that great gets picked over me. that last sentence sounded like i was trying so hard because i had to but i always did everything because i wanted to and because i thought she was more than worth it and more than deserved it. she still decided to be interested in this other guy....i was/am really hurt.
today i was going to my moms office to take her car to get the trans fluid change. it was raining and the roads we slick. i came around a curve and half way through started slipping and i slammed the car into a guard rail. im ok for the most part and for that i praise God. it could have been worse. i hit the rail a little fast and i hit the window. i bounced off the window and the car bounced off the rail. the car is totaled but i think i can bang it back into good enough shape to drive.
its just been a really bad week and its only wednesday. so please if your reading this and you believe in the power of prayer. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME.
thanks
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|  the finished motor, supercharger and intercooler......about $9000 worth of equipment.
THATS HOW I ROLL
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